WoW! It’s been awhile since I’ve written a moon love letter. Actually I’ve written a few of them but they didn’t feel complete enough to share. More than anything, as of a few days ago, I just completed my 2 month detox, and I’m only a few weeks away from lab testing to find out if these parasites are gone for good! I’ve been taking this detoxing time, to really nurture and love myself. It was so necessary and it feels so good to continue this self-loving journey.
Some of you may already know, that I attended the magical Beloved Festival in Oregon last weekend and literally had the time of my life. I gave birth to a completely new woman on so many levels. In a nutshell, I totally fell in love with the beloved within, led a moon cycle workshop for teenagers and met a divine man that I felt super safe enough with, to open my heart wide open.
After having the strongest body, heart and soul connection I’ve ever experienced in my life, I felt responsible to share this with my partner. It wasn’t easy. I was terrified about losing something precious with my partner, hurting him and our relationship. I believe in transparency and using sexual energy as a vehicle for transformation and so inevitably I had to be courageous, vulnerable and sensitive to share my truth with my partner. Even though we had both agreed at the beginning that being in an open relationship was what we both believed in and wanted to explore, I still find it at times challenging, to be this radical and bold, as we both embark on uncharted territories with each other, with someone else and within ourselves.
I shared with him that I hadn’t felt this safe, open and happy within myself and that for whatever reason I feel off the charts unexplainably happy with this person too. It’s like I can’t help loving him. His entire beingness feels so good to me. The depths of my heart and soul feels exquisitely nourished. Despite not knowing what’s going to happen with this divine and strong connection, I took the opportunity to express my truth and create more intimacy and authenticity with my partner. And it’s like a dream of a thousand lifetimes unfolding before my very own eyes to feel this and to be able to explore this and to be able to share it with and get the support of my partner.
I discovered that this is the time for me to be my own primary beloved and that I desire to be blessed in my radical happiness by my partner. My heart and body is still open to my partner but the shift within me needs to be honored too.
I even shared the photos with my partner, that I had of when I met this man when I was dancing with a snake. He genuinely and generously was happy for me. I cried so many times for the infinite depth of love that my partner genuinely has for me and the ways he supports my freedom and bliss. It was a total dream come true. I know it’s not easy for him and I know this is another way he is expressing his love to me. I respect and honor him so much for his courage and generosity. I am blown away by who my partner is becoming and the love we have for one another. Who knows what is in store at this point. All I know is I am here to express the depths of my love to the world.
This Full Moon in Pisces, I am allowing myself to be dreamy which is one of the characteristics of Pisces, by receiving and calling in the things I need to be in service to the world <3!
What are the dreams you’re manifesting and what do you need? What do you need to let go of? Take this time to create a Full Moon offering for yourself. It’s time to intentionally call in those dreams once again in honor of this Full Moon in Pisces!
May you have the most dreamy Full Moon ever! <3!
iX-CheL Sandivel is a multiorgasmic & divine feminine empowerment coach. She is the youngest woman qualified by the oldest school of tantra in the west, as a Source Tantra Yoga Associate & certified Advanced Tantra Educator. She leads events for men & women based on Tantra with an exotic twist. She’s most known for her “Sensual Surrender Play Shop for Women” where women learn to embrace their creative life force energy, and to play a dominant role at the “Dakini Domme Knight Masquerade.” Follow iX-Chel on Instagram at @ixchel_sandivel